**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
