And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
handjob tips. give me some.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize