i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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