her vagina looked like bernie madoff
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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