you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
