Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
