No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I need a burrito and a hug.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
