We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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