There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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