i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
