would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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