You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize