its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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