Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
