kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
