The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I stole a fireplace last night.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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