I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
If I die, sorry about rent.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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