Soap is not a condiment
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
