I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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