Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
