Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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