You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
