New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize