end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
