Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
