Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
