He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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