i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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