i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
