Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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