uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
