drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
