if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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