I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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