I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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