Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
