Christians are straight up FREAKS
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
