That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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