You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
