tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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