My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize