I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
