Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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