Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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