Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
