I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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