He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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