Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
birth control should be required to get into college
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
