pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
