Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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