Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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