Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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