Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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