I'm really into asian looking animals
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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