so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
