She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
