careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
