so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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